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(via fuckyeahandreagibson)
Sometimes I go into the shower and scrub on my skin so hard in hopes that it will come off and I will step out of the shower looking the way I want to look, not looking the way I did when I stepped in. But that is never the case. I always step out looking the same way I did going in. But with much redder skin.
“There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write?” — Lady Gaga’s tattoo
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Snapped a quick shot of my left arm, my veins are popped out like that about 90% of the time nowadays. They rarely did that before I started T, and I think it’s an effect of the shots and a more intense workout regimen. Regardless, as weird as this sounds, I think it looks kind of badass.
“Hi Ryan,
Dr. Medalie has reviewed your information. The procedure that he would perform is the peri-areolar mastectomy with liposuction. The total price for surgery is $5995. I have you scheduled for 8/2. I will send out a surgery packet in the mail in the next few weeks. Payment for surgery is due two weeks before your surgery date and your therapist letter is also due at this time.
Let me know if you have any questions.
Valerie”
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HOLY SHIT IS THIS REALLY FUCKING HAPPENING RIGHT NOW PLEASE SOMEBODY PINCH ME. But seriously, I think I’ll throw in a $5 tip to make it $6,000. Like really? Five dollars short?
After all is said and done, I’ll be spending around $6,500 for travel & post-surgical expenses. Money is still a slight problem right now, but my mom did mention that she is still going to drain the account because she doesn’t want the name change to “mess up” the taxes that have already been done for the year and whatnot. Now that the surgery is final, I’m starting to sweat bullets about the money. I hope she pulls through on her word.
In other news, I COULDN’T BE MORE FUCKING EXCITED!!! LAST SUMMER IN THIS DUMB BINDER! FIRE UP!!
I’m still waiting on the “okay to proceed” from Dr. Medalie. Part of me is so insanely scared of a rejection. I’m truly terrified that he will say that I’m not a good candidate or there’s something wrong with me that he won’t perform the surgery on me. I really do not know what I would do if that was the case. I am so fortunate to have gotten this far before I even turned 24, and I don’t know what would happen if I couldn’t get top surgery. I’m so ready for this. Right after I sent the email it started to sink in - I became scared of the actual surgery, but now I’m ready.
Perhaps I’m being typical Ryan and overreacting and over thinking all of this bullshit but after not hearing from neither the doctor nor his secretary in a few days, I’m starting to chomp on my nails a little more than usual.
Keep me in your thoughts/well wishes/prayers/anything?
If meeting me on the street or passing me by in a department store, I’m sure Mitt would define me as a man. If he saw me with my girlfriend, I’m sure he would say, those are the type of people that should marry, a man and a woman.
What would he do and what argument would he have if I leaned over to him and said that I was born female and had transitioned to male? How would he then change the statement that he gave reporters yesterday?…”I have the same view on marriage that I had when I was governor,” Romney said. “I believe marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman…”
In the end, Mitt…what really defines a “man” or a “woman”? How many ways will you twist and turn the definition to fit your narrow-minded view of gender?
In the end, Mitt….why the f*ck should you care about other people’s relationships?
In the end, Mitt….you harm yourself more by NOT recognizing the power of LGBT relationships, our families, and our need, like all other tax payers in this country, to be protected.
This is why trans people should be integral to the gay marriage debate.
This is why we should stop using the term “gay marriage” because it completely invalidates the transition of heterosexual transmen.
Who is that girl i see,staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show Who i am inside?
I listen to this song almost every day and I think “Wow my life”
No song fits better.
I just sent in my information to Dr. Medalie’s secretary about finalizing my surgery date. He required the patient information (medical history) form, a letter from my therapist, and pictures to verify which surgery he would be performing. I asked him if he would perform a double incision, who knows if he will take my on preference into account. I also asked if he would allow me to not return for a follow up appointment and instead allow me to see my general practitioner for my surgery follow up. I think it’ll save me a lot of money to do it that way, otherwise I’ll be driving down to Cleveland within a week of leaving, and to stay in a hotel in Cleveland isn’t justifiable.
Time to start looking at hotels. Holy shit this is really happening.
“Hi Ryan,
I have you tentatively scheduled for 8/2. You can scan and email all of your information. Once Dr. Medalie has reviewed everything, I will confirm surgery and send out a surgery packet in the mail.”
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Dr. Medalie’s secretary’s email to me.
All it took was one email… wow. I guess I’ll have to talk to my parents now.
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(via etiquetteforagentleman)